Manifestations

On the surface it always all seems good
On the inside I am dieing
But, I'm surviving
That's the only way I know
Once I step a foot into the abyss
It's a neverending hole
It's so easy to lose control
And sometimes I feel like I just might
Life is easy so why fight it?
I create my reality so why am I not excited?
Then I flip the coin
And I get consumed with all of the enjoyment
I am favored, I am blessed
I'm the greatest even when depressed
I am very capable of keeping everything close to my chest
Sometimes I'm burning so I turn to the only way I know how to address...
My soul
If I love myself so much why can I let it show?
Both spectrums battle for my attention
One saying, "just be reckless"
The other saying, "be patient for all of your successes"
It's impressive how the brain works
One moment I'm in my cave
The next I analyze every piece of worth
I become overwhelmed and regurgitate in spurts.....
Sun shines regardless
Seasons change, creations harvest
So much to give
Will there ever be an even exchange?
At times it feels like I've already departed
Build around several deposits
And bulldoze 'em when it's hostile
Move on in my rocket
Land wherever I choose to set my sockets
Adapt to the ruckus
Observe the strings and the puppets
Keep calm, and remember that I should never get flustered
I am too easily combusted
Life has her legs wide open and I'm just about ready to fuck it
The guy is back
Committed suicide and returned a bit confused
Slowly becoming stronger and more of what I'm used too
I'm here to amuse you
I'm so contagious to all of my pupils
Appreciative that my energies constantly requested
All the energy I've previously invested is coming back ten fold
Permanent, not rentals
I promise to myself to keep myself centered
I spread love to you all even in my darkest moments
Dear Universe, "I'm sorry I doubted you for a second, I am open...."
Build on the good ones, break away from bad habits
It has to add up like mathematics
Life is too short to sit in traffic